1 Peter 1:1-2

I realized recently that it had been quite a while since I had written anything on here. So much has transpired in the time since I last wrote something, and at the same time, it feels as though nothing has changed! Interesting how life works out like that sometimes. While there are many aspects of my journey that are different, I to write about one of them.

I continue to volunteer in the local woman's prison out here. I love it. So much. One of my ladies was challenged by the Spirit to make sure that she was spending time in God's word every day. So each month we set up a different Bible reading plan. Starting today we're going to be going through the book of 1 Peter. The plan is to read each day until we are pricked by the Spirit with something from the word. I want to share the lessons that I'm learning as I go through the book. Today, I only made it through the first two verses. Here is what the Holy Spirit placed on my heart...

1 Peter 1:1-2 "Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ. To those who are elect exiles of the dispersion in Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia, and Bithynia, according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, in the sanctification of the Spirit, for obedience to Jesus Christ and for sprinkling with his blood: May grace and peace be multiplied to you." (ESV)

Sometimes we find ourselves at a point in life where we are exiled. It's not always by choice, but rather sometimes that is where God has placed us. He knew it would happen. Through it we will be sanctified, changed, drawn ever closer to our Lord and Savior. How? If we live our lives in obedience to him. That is where we'll find grace and peace- in Christ alone- no matter what our circumstances.

The question becomes, am I rebelling against where I am in life? Or am I embracing the journey and allowing God to freely work in my life? I have a choice to make. I'm choosing to embrace this point in my life as a gift from God, to allow Him to work in and through me in any way that He chooses. To fall more in love with Him and to hopefully point others to Him at the same time.

Grace and Peace to you my friends.

Labels

Labels. Why do we have them? What is the purpose? Is it really even necessary? I think it depends on the type of label. For a street sign, yes, otherwise we'll not know which direction to go. For medicine, vital, or we could end up taking the wrong thing in the wrong amount to our own demise. For canned food, maybe. It could make for some interesting meals (I urge you to try it if you never have, remove several labels, mix them around and then leave them for a week. Go back and try using one can of whatever you open one night for dinner).  For people, no.

I was reminded of the label that some are giving me since I have been diagnosed as bipolar II. In reality it is a small handful of people that are aware of the label and they are the only ones giving me that label. Truthfully, it hurts. I want you to really think about it. Is there one word that encompasses your entire being in every aspect of who you are? Just one word that sums it all up? Maybe we can narrow it down to two or three words, but one? I don't think so, and I also believe we need to stop placing those labels on ourselves and on others.

Often we are hurt by the labels others put upon us, but I must say I have put several of them on myself. None of the ones I have given myself are flattering. Why do we do this? Focus on the negative aspects of who we are? God created each of us perfectly to be the individuals that we are. That includes the good and not so good parts. There is a purpose for it all. Mostly so that His glory will shine as He does the impossible through us. I love that He GAVE me all the quirks that I have just so that I can be DIFFERENT. Why? Because it is FOR HIM! That is a blessing and a gift. Not something to be ashamed of.

I know that I've said it before, but please embrace your beautiful self for who you are. Ignore the lies of this world. You ARE beautiful. You ARE wonderful. You ARE loved.

Holding Fast,
Teresa

Hiding Place

I have been blessed with some faithful friends and prayer warriors whom God often blesses me with their encouragement. This video came my way this morning from one of them and I loved the words about God being my hiding place while I'm Holding Fast to what I know to be true. As I'm hiding in Him I am never alone. Never. I hope that you enjoy the beautiful lyrics and the pictures this individual put with them. It brings about a calm peace. I know this peace I'm experiencing is by the grace of God. He is our true source of peace. Psalm 29:11 "May the Lord give strength to his people! May the Lord bless his people with peace!" Grace and Peace to you through Christ.

Holding Fast in my hiding place in Him,
Teresa

Hold Fast

Have you ever had one of those days that made you just scratch your head and wonder why? That was my day today. Today was by no means fun. I was 'asked' to take a leave of absence from work. Thank you bipolar. Today I hate you. Why God? What good could this possibly be doing in my life? Then I think back to my yesterday. So while I'm currently scratching my head I am trusting none the less. Let me explain.

Yesterday morning I sat through a great church service that reminded me to Hold Fast to the Gospel and what I know to be true. To know it so deeply that I wouldn't ever think of letting go. This is found in Hebrews 10:23 "Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful." God has promised us so much that founded on the Gospel. My thoughts are racing a million miles per hour so let me try and get this out right. Romans 8:32 states "He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?" God withheld nothing by sending his only Son to die for us and allow us the opportunity to have a relationship with Him. If He withheld nothing to provide us with the Gospel, why would He now withhold something? He wouldn't. He won't. He doesn't. So I just need to hold fast.

Last night there was another amazing lesson, this time focused on the hard stuff in life. I thought that what I was going through last night was tough. Today was worse, but my perspective was different. Why? Because of what is in James 1: 2-11. Three things that were talked about piggy back on the concept of Holding Fast perfectly. God cares about our suffering, He gave us his word here to explain how we're to cope with it. The first things He tells us is that we need to ask for Wisdom. (v.5) "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him." It's ok for me to ask God why? Why am I going through this now? What is the purpose? What am I supposed to be learning? What am I supposed to do?

Next thing that I need is faith. (v.6) "But let him ask in faith, with no doubting..." I need to have faith in what God is doing. Remember the Romans 8:32 verse from above? Why would I doubt anything when God has already given everything? I shouldn't. Not if I'm Holding Fast to the truth of the Gospel and the peace that it brings through faith.

The last thing we need is perspective (v.9&10) "Let the lowly brother boast in his exaltation and the rich in his humiliation, because like a flower of the grass he will pass away." Our ways are most definitely not God's ways. So my perspective is not going to be God's perspective on the situation. I have to change my way of looking at things to align with His way.

So now that I've vented, I don't feel like I'm scratching my head quite as much. I'm more or less spent and ready for a nap. I'm ready to Hold Fast as I seek Wisdom by Faith and accept a change in Perspective. So whatever your journey may be, Hold Fast dear friend, Hold Fast.

Never Alone

Do you ever have that feeling like you're alone? That no one understands what you're going through? Or that they are avoiding you simply b/c the weight of your problem is too much for them? That's how I've been feeling a lot lately. As though I was alone. Drowning in the silence of my life that is actually screaming from all directions. That my bipolar has pushed people away b/c I'm exhausting to be around. This couldn't be further from the truth.

As my roommate and I were watching Kung Fu Panda 1 & 2 last night my thoughts went racing (which is completely normal for bipolar II). One of the many lessons to be found in the movie is that of believing in yourself. That you are special. You are special b/c God created you just the way you are. My identity is not found in being bipolar, my identity is in Christ. And with Him, I am never alone. Heb. 13:5 "...I will never leave you nor forsake you."

It's important too to remember that you are not a burden. Sometimes your life may feel overwhelming, but Jesus is not overwhelmed. Most friends are not overwhelmed. In reality they just need to know how to pray for you. And if you need to dump all the junk your feeling on someone, try Christ. He is right there waiting for you. Matthew 11:28-30 " Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle adn lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

Remember that you are special and that you always have someone waiting and willing to listen and share in the burden of what you're feeling in Christ. It's as simple as that. Truly. I often forget, but it truly is that simple. I also wanted to share a song with you. It's by Matt Redman called Never Once. The words have been like a salve to my soul lately as I try to remember the simple truth that I'm not alone in all this.

Bipolar

I want to apologize for the absence of posting on here. I had to wait until I went home to see my family so that I could talk with them before I posted anything online.

In early October I was diagnosed with Bipolar II. My life has been a roller coaster ever since. I have debated left and right which way to go with this. Well, I decided that my blog with be the beginnings of my being open and honest about what is going on. I feel that too often in the Christian circle we gloss over the hard parts of life and don't talk about them, or just pretend they don't exist. My being bipolar makes no difference to my faith. If anything, my faith in what God is doing is growing even stronger.

So I would like to invite you to join me on the journey through the ups and downs. The silly times and the hard struggles. To invite you to join me in real life. The foundational verses that I am clinging to during this journey are Psalm 73:26, " My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." When things get tough I know He is holding me up, Psalm 54:4, "Behold, God is my helper; the Lord is the upholder of my life." This means isall good. Once again I'm given this promise in Romans 8:28-39,"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified. What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written,“For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." And one way He upholds my life is by equipping me with what I need, Ephesians 6:12-19, "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints"

These are the verses I will come back to time and again as we go through this journey. I hope you are touched and encouraged as you read through this. No matter what we go through, isall good and we are not alone. Don't be afraid to be the person you were created to be, even if it doesn't follow the norm. :)

Ivy

Lately I'm discovering that life is just one continual lesson. Each individual is being taught at their own speed. Different lessons. Different levels of difficulty. Each one exactly what we need at that specific moment. Our Teacher is patient and with us every step of the way. Sometimes He is silent, but He has never left our side. He knows when to step in a help and when to allow us to struggle as we face the problems ourselves. 

Today is a beautiful day in Oregon. The sun is out. It's a crisp 59 degrees. Fall. Oh how I love it! Today is also my first Saturday not working in at least 2 months. I am enjoying all aspects of what today holds. Alas, part of what I get to do today is yard work. The joys of living in a duplex and not an apartment. I have a yard!!!! :) I also have a lot of trees which results in a lot of leaves that need raking. After borrowing a rake from a friend I set out this morning to tackle the yard. I was looking forward to the labor. What I didn't know is that really it was a divine appointment from the Lord. 

I started off by raking all of the leaves in the front and side of the house. I added them to my compost pile. Then I took a look at the side of my house. Ivy. I knew at some point I was going to have to deal with it, but today? Really? Why not! I mean, how much is there really?

So I started the process of pulling it out. Surly it wouldn't be that bad. After two minutes my hands hurt. Where were those silly gloves that I have? The ivy was tearing my hands apart. This is where the lesson started for me. The Holy Spirit started working over time in my mind. Ivy is just like sin in our lives. Sure, it looks enticing and seems like a good idea, but as soon as you start it will spread and cover more area than you anticipated. The roots will go deeper than you want them to. The act of removing it from your life will not be simple. It will hurt. It will wear you out.

I put on the gloves. A tool that I had to make the process less painful. God does the same thing for us. He won't call us to deal with something and leave us unequipped. He provides all that we need. This doesn't mean that the process will be any easier. Some of our sins are so deep within us that we don't even recognize them as sin. We just think they are a part of us, the way we do things on an everyday basis. But as we start viewing things in light of the Word we see the truth: sin is sin no matter what form it takes in our life. 

By no means is dealing with sin a simple fix. Neither is getting rid of ivy. It was killing my back. My arms started to feel like jello. I asked God to give me a knight in shining armor (well, at least someone with more muscle than me)! No one came. This was my battle to go through. He was there with me, but I needed to do some of the work myself. Interestingly enough, as I'm thinking through some of the areas of sin that have recently come to light in my own life, I started to rationalize the reasons for not dealing with the sin. What could possibly be wrong with that? It was then that the cord to my headphones got entangled with the increasingly annoying ivy.

It didn't take me long to get untangled, but the reality of the picture struck me. We try to rationalize keeping sin in our lives, and it starts to take hold of us. If we're not careful, we'll become stuck again. All the hard work we have gone through will be swallowed up by the sin continuing to spread and grow over the area we just cleared. There is no room for leaving sin in our life. Just like the ivy, it has to be destroyed to the depths for it to not come back. Matthew 5:29 ESV says, "If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell." If Jesus takes the sin in our life so seriously, why don't we?

I labored for what felt like hours. Truly, it was 45 min. The point is, that sometimes the process seems as though it is never ending. Don't give up. No matter what, don't give up. Each life is different. Maybe you have a little bit to clean up. Maybe you have a lot. It doesn't matter. You just keep plowing ahead until you are done. 

I filled an entire trash can. No wonder I was so exhausted! I was sweaty, covered in dirt and grime. I dealt with spiders, snags and the strong desire to give up. Yet that was not an option. Just like the lessons God is taking me through at the moment. They aren't easy. They aren't enjoyable. Truthfully, they suck. However, I know that the result is going to be my finding true freedom in Christ. A freedom that no one can take away from me. A freedom to be myself in Christ. So even if the process is hard and not enjoyable, I wouldn't change it for anything. The result will far out weight any hardship along the way. 

Now, it's also important to remember that we can't do it alone. I did get the majority of the ivy. However, part of it is beyond my control. The only way to fully get rid of it is use some ivy killer chemical stuff. So I will be getting that soon. God doesn't call us to do it all by ourselves. There are parts that only He can take care of. That is when we have to let go of the control and turn it over to Him. Allow Him to get down deep the roots we can't get to. To destroy them and bring about the healing that only He can do. I promise it will be worth it.