Life hurts. It's not always easy. Right now I am going through one of the most painful times of my life. I realize that we all go through different valleys in our lives, and I'm reminded that each one is of equal importance to each individual. The valleys just look different and produce different results. Mine is producing tears at the moment.
I'm learning that God needs to be my everything. He is my best friend. I can cry on His shoulder. I can share the deepest hurts in my heart. Share the fears. Share the shame. Share the questions. Share. He cares. He understands. He loves me. He holds me. He holds me.
Oh how I long for His loving arms to surround me. My heart cries out for the comfort of His embrace. I sit here typing with tears streaming down my face. Pleading for my Abba Father to put His loving arms around me. To comfort my heart. A peace begins to comfort me. To slow the tears. To calm my racing heart. He is making His presence known to me. I am not alone.
Yes, He is breaking me. He is working to tear down the lies the enemy is trying to get me to believe. The lie that I'm not good enough. The lie that I don't matter. The lie that God doesn't care. God's word reminds me that I am His child. That He isn't finished with me yet. Philippians 1:6 "And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue His work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns."
Hosea 2:14 "But then I will win her back once again, I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her there." I am in my desert. God is placing me in the quiet place where I can have no distractions to keep me from hearing what He has to say. He is speaking tenderly to me. The walls I have put up to protect my heart are slowing crumbling down. He is healing me. It hurts. It's bittersweet. It's just beginning.
This song is playing in the background, reminding me again of the truth:
Clinging to the Cross
My soul is weak
My heart is numb
I cannot see
But still my hope is found in You
I’ll hold on tightly
You will never let me go
For Jesus, You will never fail
Jesus, You will never fail
Simply to the cross i cling
Letting go of all earthly things
Clinging to the cross
Mercy’s found a way for me
Hope is here as i am free
Jesus, You are all i need
Clinging to the cross
Even darkness is as light to You, my Lord
So light the way and lead me home
To that place where every tear is wiped away
For Jesus, You will never fail
Jesus, You will never fail
Simply to the cross i cling
Letting go of all earthly things
Clinging to the cross
Mercy’s found a way for me
Hope is here as i am free
Jesus, You are all i need
Clinging to the cross
What a Savior, what a story
You were crucified but now You are alive
So amazing, such a mystery
You were crucified but now You are alive
Simply to the cross i cling
Letting go of all earthly things
Clinging to the cross
Mercy’s found a way for me
Hope is here as i am free
Jesus, You are all i need
Clinging to the cross
Do what you need to do Lord. Draw me closer to You. Tear down any walls I have put up. Hold me in Your arms of love. Keep my eyes focused on You. Help me to fall more in love with You.
_lml
