Enough

When is enough enough? What brings us to that point? What aspects of our lives are enough?

These questions have been going through my mind. First off, I came to the realization that I don't feel as though I am good enough. I don't meet the expectations of those around me. I am not able to do all that they want me to do. I am not able to fulfill all the different aspects of their qualifications that would make me "adequate" in their eyes. This reality hurts me.

Then I was reminded that God is enough. He is my every thing. He is my only thing. I need nothing else in life save Him. Now, I "know" this truth, but deep down, do I really "know" it?

Today in church we read through Psalm 143. Here is what it says:

"Hear my prayer, O Lord; listen to my plea! Answer me because you are faithful and righteous. Don't put your servant on trial, for no one is innocent before you. My enemy has chased me. He has knocked me to the ground and forces me to live in darkness like those in the grave. I am losing all hope; I am paralyzed with fear. I remember the days of old. I ponder all your great works and think about what you have done. I lift my hands to you in prayer. I thirst for you as a parched land thirsts for rain. Come quickly, Lord, and answer me, for my depression deepens. Don't turn away from me, or I will die. Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you. Rescue me from my enemies, Lord; I run to you to hide me. Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing. For the glory of your name, O Lord; preserve my life. Because of your faithfulness, bring me out of this distress. In your unfailing love, silence all my enemies and destroy all my foes, for I am your servant."

Verse 4 is where I am at right now: "I am losing all hope; I am paralyzed with fear." Why? Because, "My enemy has chased me, He has knocked me to the ground..."(v.3) I have been brought to my weakest point. The enemy has attacked me again in my thought life, the place where he seems to attack me the most. To get me discouraged and to get me to question the reality of God in my life. I am not doubting God himself, but rather doubting that He is here. He seems so distant from me at the moment. The sad part is it's not him that moved but rather me. In trying to survive my crazy busy life, God has not remained my main priority.

My quiet times have gone from reading chapters a day to one verse a day. In God's wisdom, this was my verse today: 1 Corinthians 13:7 "Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance." If I love God, I will never give up no matter where He leads me, I will never lose my faith in Him no matter what is happening, I will remain hopeful in the plan and purpose He has for me, and I will endure through every journey He takes me on.

Part of enduring the journey is to be prepared for the battle and attacks of the enemy. I need to have my sword (His word) ready for the fight. I was challenged to find new ways this week to fast (mostly different aspects of my life) in order to find more time with Him. So my fast is to stay off of Facebook for the entire week. Each time I would normally log on I am going to read over my verse for the day. If I am curious about what others are doing, I am going to pray for them. I need more time with my Daddy. So He gets priority this week. A chance to get things back into perspective of where my priorities need to be, and all the more important as the journey continues onward. One step at a time, trusting in Him, "Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you." (v. 8)

I am trusting You to be enough for me. I am trusting that I am good enough, because I am Your daughter thanks to the blood of Your Son. I am trusting You with my heart and my fears as I follow You on the journey. I am trusting. I am trusting.

_lml

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