Motivation

Today was a day of revelation for me. This morning as I was standing in my living room signing songs in worship to God my heart started to open up again. As I as driving to church the thought crossed my mind, I have lost sight of my passion. My priorities in life have gotten out of order. How did I let this happen?

I believe it happens in small little every day decisions. As I was preparing to start this term, I made some life changing decisions. After discovering that my parents wanted to help me pay for schooling this year, I made the decision to stop working so I could further concentrate on my studies. Now, I do not regret that decision, however, I do believe it helped me to get my priorities out of order. My focus in my day to day life became my studies at school. To be putting forth my absolute best to get the A's for my grades. To prove that I was good enough to pass the QE (qualifying exam) and get my internship. Now, all of these are good things to be striving for. However, if they are getting in the way of our walk with God, they are no longer good. My priority had shifted from using the skills God has given me to glorify Him, to instead glorify myself. No wonder I have been so stressed out and unsure of where I stand. I'm signing for myself and not for God's glory. There is no satisfaction in that.

The same thing applies to our lives in relation to the Gospel. Many times we go through life thinking that if we're just good enough or try hard enough God will accept us for who we are, sin and all. If that were all it took, then why would God send His Son to die on the cross for our sins? He willingly paid the price so that we didn't have to do anything aside from believing in Him. End of story. Even if we believe this, we still often try to do more. We try to follow all the rules. To be good enough. To prove our worth. Essentially all we do is a slap in the face of God. Its saying that we don't need Him, that the gift He gave of Christ dying, that wasn't enough. We're still living as though we need to do something more to prove our worth. Yet Isaiah 64:6 says, "We have all become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous deeds are like a polluted garment..." in other words, even if we try to do something good, its still no better than a dirty tampon (polluted garment). So, why am I trying? Is there a point? No. There isn't.

So yes, scripture talks about this a lot in relation to the Gospel (for example Gal. 5:1-15), but at the same time, the same principles apply to many aspects of life. My priorities have gone out of order as I put my ability to pass a test above my desire to use the skills He has given me for His glory. My prayer is to let go of the opinions of those around me. Yes I still need to put forth my best effort, but not for the same reasons. I will give my best so that He may be glorified. I will not give my best just to pass a test and feel good about myself. I am only here because this is where God has directed me. If I take Him out of the equation, anything I do becomes polluted garments.