Love

I find it interesting that I have wanted to write this out for a while, however I am just now setting aside the time to share my thoughts. As I sat in class waiting for my day to begin, I opened my e-mail to see what scripture of the day I would be meditating on. This is what was awaiting me in my inbox:

"Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples." John 13:35

I immediately cringed. Love. Again? Why is God always pointing love out to me? Have I not gotten the picture yet? Apparently not! Last year I was overwhelmed with the sense of not knowing how to love those around me. After studying several sermons our church had gone through on love, one of my teens suggested I read the book by Francis Chan Crazy Love. So I did. Wow! I learned more about love in those few weeks than I think I have my entire life. So why is God bringing it to light again? Have I not gotten the point to His message? I am to love those around me. I get it...or do I really????

I don't think I do. Especially after reading John 13:35 that morning. Shortly thereafter a classmate sat down next to me and immediately started to try my patience. The verse floated through my mind. I need to start with loving those around me. Oh great. This is going to be fun! NOT! It's one thing for me to love those I don't know, another to execute love to those close to me who push every button of mine possible. It reminds me of Matthew 16:24 "Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me." Hmmm...makes me think. One of my selfish ways is to desire my wants above those around me. I need to put aside that selfish desire, and pick up my cross by putting those around me first. By loving them.

Right now God is teaching me this lesson with my roommate. Coming from different cultures, we have different perspectives on things. In her culture, they hug a lot. A lot. Honestly, there are times when I feel completely hugged out. My selfish desire causes me to make decisions like this morning where I hurried out the door so that by the time she got there it was too awkward to share a hug. I was already mostly out the door. I felt so ashamed. I put myself first. I didn't even take into account how this might impact her emotionally throughout the day. I thought only of myself and my desires. I was not loving her.

I have been challenged to truly love those around me by casting aside my selfish desires, picking up my cross and following Him. Love those around me as He loves them. To constantly pray for love to flow from me. I am not naturally a loving person. One look at 1 Corinthians 13 shows that. Start with verse 4 where it says, "Love is patient..."and I've already fallen short. I am not patient. Let alone moving past that part of love. I need to pour more into my relationship with Him so that as He loves me deeper and more intimately I can in turn share that love with those around me. Starting with those under the same roof as me. Picking up my cross daily and casting aside my selfish desires.

Lord help me to fall more in love with you today than I did yesterday. Also help me to follow you by casting aside my selfish desires and pick up my cross whatever it may be. Make the desire of my heart to be loving you and loving those around me with every ounce of my being!