Scars

Everyone has scars. Some are visible. Some are emotional. Some are fresh. Some have been present for years. All are a reminder in one way or another of something painful in our life.


Lately there has been some examining of scars going on at the prison. One lady was wrongly accused of some wrong doing by another inmate. As a result, she lost her job and could possibly end up in more trouble. Interestingly enough, the accusations were proved to be false, however, the consequences still remain. Now her scar of being betrayed by those who she holds close and dear is threatening to reopen. The enemy is spinning a lie around her that is causing her to doubt who she is and to doubt her ability to live in a way that is glorifying to Him. She is doubting that she will ever be able to trust those around her. The scar of her past experiences is a foothold that Satan is trying to take advantage of to cause her to start believing the lie.


Another inmate has a scar that deals with abusive authority in her life. Life has shown her to not trust those in authority over her because they will take advantage of that power and harm her. Her response is to defend herself and usually by opening her mouth and stating exactly how she's feeling. She defends herself and challenges them at the same time. She fears what will happen if she doesn't stand up for herself. Again, a lie that the enemy is trying to divert her with. Trying to discourage her and stop her from moving forward for God.


Another woman is dealing with the crime she committed. The anniversary of the man she killed while driving drunk just passed. Her way of coping? To turn off all emotion. Become numb, devoid of all feeling and response. If the tears rise to the surface, she takes a deep breath, looks straight ahead, squares her shoulders, and puts on a stone face. The enemy is lying to her in stating that this is how she is supposed to deal with everything. To not let it have an impact on her. Oh, she has dealt with this in the past, but things like this don't just go away. There will always be milestones that arise to bring back the emotions. Her scar is really deep and is brought to the surface in a harsh manner.


My last lady has physical scars. She is a cutter. She turned from God when her father took his life seven years ago. She is believing the lie that God doesn't care about her. That she is of no value to Him. Her way of dealing with this despair is to inflict pain on herself. She feels the need to validate the pain she is feeling, and by inflicting further pain she feels justified in the depressing feelings she is fighting. Her scars are fresh again, and the pain is overwhelming. The lie is the only thing she is seeing at the moment.


All of these women have a special place in my heart. God has placed them in my heart. I understand their scars. I have similar scars. I haven't been through all the same situations, but I have experienced similar responses. I have the emotional scars. My physical scars have faded over the years. I get it. I count it a blessing to have those scars. We all go through these experiences, and if we allow God to work and change us to be more like Him through the circumstances, he can and sill use those scars to spread His love to others. I don't regret anything I have been through. Time and again God uses those events to help me connect with others. God does the same thing through His word. His word is packed full of examples from believers lives. We can glean from those experiences and lessons to help us grow in our own walk with Him. My prayer is that God works in my life the way He did in the lives of those found in His word. I will accept the scars, knowing in the end, He is working to draw me into a more intimate relationship with Him.